Complete and Utter Boredom
by RhythmOfTheWarDrum
Summary: ONESHOT: Ever wonder what would happen if our knights were locked in a room together for a few hours? Set in presenttime


_Caveat: I do not own King Arthur nor his Knights of the Round Table, nor anything to do with it, really. This story was borne out of boredom and curiosity._

_Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if our knights were locked in a room together for a few hours? Set in present-time._

_Author's Note: I don't really know how to explain this short story. Let's just say I'm very bored. I have decided to write without giving you a reason as to why they were locked in the room, and exactly what room it was. I leave that up to your imagination. I hope you all enjoy this one-shot, and I can't wait to hear what you think! Please review!_

**HOUR 1**

"Why is it so bloody hot in 'ere?" Bors asked as he took a seat on a large wooden box.

"Well, we have been in here for over an hour now, I can tell you that much." Arthur replied as he took a seat next to him.

Lancelot glanced over at Bors and laughed.

"What you laughing at mop-head?" Bors asked as he continued to stare into Lancelot's eyes.

"You're sweating like a bloody ox. It's a wonder you're engaged-"

"Hey, you aint so bloody handsome yourself. Besides, Vanora thinks it's sexy when a man sweats."

"Vanora also goes to the therapist twice a week." Lancelot mumbled.

"What that, pretty boy?" asked Bors.

"Nothing." Lancelot replied as he stood to his feet.

"I really don't understand all the fuss about her…" Gawaine interrupted randomly as he flipped through the pages of a magazine.

"Who?" Arthur asked.

"Paris Hilton. I mean, in my opinion she looks a bit like an over-cooked chicken, don't you think?" Gawaine replied as he examined the picture closely.

"I think she's sexy." Galahad said as sharpened his pocket-knife.

"No, you want to see sexy? Hillary Duff is sexy. She's so cute and innocent-"

"C'mon, man, she's 12." Lancelot said with a disgusted look on his face.

"I thought she was 17?"

"That's still not legal. And what do you mean she's sexy? That's like saying Bors is a sex-god." Lancelot said.

"The man_does_ have eleven children." Tristan said as he opened a bag of chips.

**HOUR 2**

The knights were still stuck in the small room with absolutely nothing to do. Gawaine had read the same magazine over three times now, Dagonet had fallen asleep in the corner with his headset as well as Bors who had fallen asleep next to him. Lancelot and Arthur had played rock-paper-scissors so much that they could practically predict each other's moves before they made it. Galahad was carefully applying shaving cream on Bor's face as he continued to sleep, and Tristan was drawing a picture to give to his son when they finally got out of the damned room.

"How's Guin doing?" Lancelot asked after he lost rock-paper-scissors twice in a row.

"She's good. She wanted to go and see a movie later tonight but…" He glanced at his watch, "I don't think we're going to get out of here anytime soon."

"What movie?"

"Don't ask me, I'm not allowed to choose. She was going to ring up Isolde and see if she and Tristan wanted to join, but I guess that's a no as well." **Silence**. "To tell you the truth, Lancelot, I hope we're stuck here for a few more days."

"Why's that?" Lancelot asked as he yawned.

"Well, Guinevere signed me up for my first yoga class tomorrow morning. She says it will help me find inner peace or…something."

**HOUR 5**

"I tell you, I aint never had to piss so bad in me life!" Bors said.

"There's a plant over in that corner, there." Tristan pointed.

**HOUR 6**

"You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true." Galahad continued to sing. He had taken Dagonet's headset while he was asleep. "I saw your face in a crowded place. And I don't know-"

"Galahad, your voice has the power to make me toss myself out of a window." Gawaine said as he threw a rubber ball at the ceiling and caught it again.

**HOUR 7**

"If you had to choose, would you rather step in human pee or dog pee?" Gawaine asked everyone.

"Dog pee!"

"Human!"

"Dog!"

"Alright, my turn." Lancelot began. "Would you rather have sex with a "10" ,or a "7" and a "3"?"

"That's bloody hard."

"10."

"All of 'em."

"Hey, guys, look!" Galahad interrupted as he stood by the door. "The door's unlocked!"

"What?"

"Unlocked? What do you…so we've been sitting here for," Lancelot checked his watch, "7 hours for no reason at all?"

"I feel like a bloody moron." Bors said as he walked out the door. "See you all tomorrow! Unless Vanora kills me for being late for dinner." He called out.

The rest of the knights followed closely behind Bors, except for Arthur. Lancelot noticed right before he walked. "Arthur, c'mon. We can leave."

"No, you go on. There's no way in hell I'm doing yoga tomorrow."


End file.
